November 7th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
Gears of War Review Roundup
Posted by
Patrick McCarron in
Gears of War Reviews
Any of you not totally sold on getting Gears of War yet and want to see some reviews? The website Gameguru Mania has an excellent round up of all the various Gears of War reviews from all the major game outlets. The game is getting some EXCELLENT reviews, which is great news to take to heart that all of Epic’s hard work is being recognised.
So if you need some convincing, go check the list out but we all know you already have the game on preorder or are playing it right now!
Gears of War
Is Gears of War the worst game EVER ?
This text is going to be placed in as many places online as possible.
I have now finally given up on the biggest piece of shit game ever produced. I can only add that it is because the fucking idiots of MICROSOFT have got involved that this game is complete excrement.
I play quite a few games, but this is the worst of the worst of the worst.
How can I explain how bad this game is? I am not sure if I have the language skills to make anyone fully appreciate just how bad this game is.
Don’t get me wrong – I do appreciate good games and this one does at times look beautiful and is one of the most impressive uses of the Unreal editor that I have seen. However there the praise ends.
Firstly it is not clear what the worst part of this piece of shite is. The list is too long and I am still too angry at having had to put up with this annoying spastic waste of time to be very precise at listing them.
In fact EVERY SINGLE PART of the game play is a waste of time invented by spastic headed wanker boys.
The principle of the movie with ALL the cut in sequences is ghastly. Somehow someone who thought they knew what a game was thought it would be a good idea to have all these sequences cut together to allow the player to enjoy some sort of story.
Some fucking half wit with some crap ideas about taking games to ‘the next level’ but who thinks Steven Spielberg is a useful cinematic reference point forces you to watch this interminable spastic waffle before you get dumped into a situation with no way of going back? I have now been trapped three times in a level where it is impossible to continue because I do not have the correct weapons? I mean once is maybe OK – but three times? In the first chapter? Shite , shite, shite!
It seemed impossible that so much work could be put into a game and it stills turns out utterly disfunctional and utterly infuriatingly shite to play.
The reasons are because CORPORATIONS are not structured to make good games – they are only structured to take your money and if you don’t like what you get – then tough.
The marketting/ online experience pay per second tie-in is utter shite. It stops you playing the game properly. Indeed it seems that if you do not lock yourself utterly into the online shite you cannot even play the game properly.
I have been unable to finish this disgrace of a game bacause it keeps losing my campaign save points. In fact if I can organise it I am going to claim my money back from Microsoft; as well as bill them for wasted time and the hours of frustration that this crap has caused me.
Microsoft – you owe me £50!
Did no one involved in this fiasco EVEN play the fucking idiotic thing? I assume not or else they may have prevented at least the first 20 or so reallly crap things about the gameplay. But obviously they were all locked in to this money making corporate masturbation exercise.
The interesting thing about playing games is the freedom to make your own decisions – play your own way. This is not possible in this psychotic gobshite waste of time. You are led by the nose by braindead fuckin incompetent idiots who totally define your ‘game experience’. UTTER SHITE GUYS. Did no-one spot this?
Completely limiting movement, so we move through your wanky little situations like fucking sheep, is not even the worst part. It is even worse that you cannot incrementally save – that the ‘checkpoints’ for saving are all prearranged and you have to complete the missions between them fully. If you stop the game absentmindedly not actually at a checkpoint then you are fucked – it just loses all your progress so far. This wil also happen if you:
1. change your profile name
2. change the difficulty of the game
3. Have a go at another level 4. Set up an online game
There are probably other ways to fuck your progress but these ones are the easiest to run into. This is an unacceptable position. It is up to gamers to complain properly about this type of abuse. To inform the other gamers that this excrement is not worth paying a penny for.
Even the character movement gameplay is dreadful. You spend so much time fighting the stupidity of the control system – at least half your deaths will be because the controller thinks it knows what you want to do and you are left standing or doing pointless headrolls or something else – NOT what you intended to do. Once or twice this would be allowable but it happens so often – so many times you die only because of the stupidity of the control set-up.
So in EVERY way this is a good looking game UTTERLY SPOILED by corporate moneymaking idiocy. I cannnot tell you how offended I am at having paid money to be treated like a fucking idiotic sheep person. Thanks.
Any gamer who thinks this is a good game seriously need their brains looked at. Microsoft software is just so bad on every conceivable level it makes me physically ill. I like software to do what I want – not for it to be an excuse for some arsehole programmer to think he knows what I might want to happen? I am so tired of Microsoft software doing its own thing and even more annoyed at how difficult it makes it to switch the fucking idiotic features off!
I am going to stop now before my brain explodes with anger and frustration.
Microsoft you owe me money – I want it and I will keep slagging you off all over the internet until you pay me back.
Anyone out there who sees a Microsoft game and fancies trying it – DONT! Dont give these arseholes anymore money.
Playing Gears of War has been a continuous string of annoying and frustrating interruptions and I am now never going to boot up this rubbish ever again.
I could add more of my frustrations about this crap game but that seems superfluous. DO NOT BUY THIS. DO NOT PLAY THIS.
May Microsoft rot away like all useless garbage. Maybe people will wake up and realise that there is no longer any need for this malign and odious ‘software’ company any longer.
I know this will not make any difference but if only one true gamer reads this and decides NOT TO BUY it then it may have been worth it.